Oftentimes, text-based or written communication — Slack messages, Google Hangouts, Teams, emails, you name it — can be misconstrued and cause you undue stress and anxiety.
If your boss sends you an email or message with constructive criticism, for instance, you might jump to the worst-case scenario, like being fired or taken off the project. Without hearing the crucial intonation of their voice — or picking up on Zoom or in-person non-verbal cues — it can be impossible to decipher their mood and the weight of their message.
Feeling uneasy or afraid to speak up at work is most often due to a lack of psychological safety. According to research done by Google, psychological safety makes “team members feel safe to take risks and be vulnerable in front of each other,” which creates higher performing teams and prevents burnout.
Paula Davis, the author of Beating Burnout at Work, told Vox that burnout has “become a self-help-ified individual problem when in reality it’s more of a complex workplace-leader-team-culture issue.”
The good news is, there are ways to make sure you’re communicating with your team in a way that supports your mental health — and theirs.
Positive Team Talk: Communicate The Mindful Way
1. Take Your Time
Just because you get an instant message, it doesn’t mean you need to respond instantly.
Andrea Wachter, psychotherapist, author and Insight Timer teacher tells us that it can be very tempting to rush through our communication. But that can keep us from writing what we intended to, or regretting what we typed (be it typos or devastatingly embarrassing messages).
“Taking a few extra minutes to mindfully think through your communication, reread it and come back to it later can make a big difference,” she says. “Not rushing will also help your nervous system remain calm.”
2. Tame Your Tone
Be aware of tone, both when writing and reading messages, suggests Wachter. “It can be helpful to imagine that you are saying what you are typing,” she says. “Is this what you would actually say to the person if you were speaking to them? Is this how you would want to be spoken to?”
Reading a simple one-word response from your boss that says, Received, could lead you to think they’re displeased, she continues. “But we can only work on our end of the communication.”
3. Make Time for Spirit Fillers
Research from the University of California and Humboldt University found that workers can lose up to 23 minutes each time they’re unnecessarily interrupted. However, choosing to take time away from your desk and engaging in ‘Spirit Fillers’ (as opposed to Time Killers) is extremely beneficial.
Spirit Fillers are rooted in mindfulness, which helps your mental health and allows you to stay focused on the present moment. They include:
- Getting some fresh air (without your phone!)
- Meditating
- Listening to something inspirational, try “Your Anxiety Relief Toolkit” or “SOS Anxiety Release”
- Doing some simple stretches
- Having a screen-free meal
- Connecting with a loved one
“Not only will these help your overall well-being, but when you do return to work, you’ll communicate more mindfully, from a filled cup rather than a depleted one,” says Wachter.
4. Important Topic? Save It for Video or in Person
“A good rule of thumb is that if anything could be misinterpreted, it should be said in person or on a video call,” Laura Vanderkam, writer, speaker, and author of The New Corner Office: How the Most Successful People Work from Home, tells Insight Timer. “Otherwise, it can cause unwanted anxiety. And if you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face? Then don’t say it. Period.”
From pausing before responding to a message to making time for mindfulness, there are several simple ways to communicate with your team in a way that supports your mental health — and theirs — starting today.
